The Sunbeam
Blog entry

07/19/06

A sunbeam broke through into my consciousness this morning. I would say lightning struck, but it was much more gentle than that, though certainly not less powerful.

I had been unable to break out of some old thought patterns. Blessing everyone that my sight fell upon was difficult to remember to do. Praying gratitude for their perfection and every little bit of good that comes to them was also extremely difficult for me. The Love was just not flowing as I've been told it should. I knew I was still living in my ego, still dipping down into judging people and situations, creating more and more separation from Source/God in the process.

Everything I have read (and I've read a lot) in numerous sources always says 2 things. God is All That Is and God is only Love. The books I'm currently reading, and I'm on the fourth one in the series now, say these 2 things over and over again.

Last night, I prayed to be lifted up out of my ego, to have it washed away. I complained to Source/God of how frustrated I was. I prayed to be shown what I wasn't seeing so that I could understand. I told Source/God that though I had given Him/Her my heart and my will, I realized that I needed to give my mind as well, for it was my mind still creating separation between us. I held on tightly as I felt the "wind" come. It was rather intense and stripped some things off/out of me. I told Source/God again that just as I have given all of myself to Torlinque, that I give God all of me. Torlinque and I are both parts of God after all, so it was easy.

This morning, I finally grokked what God has been saying all this time, "I am All That Is. I am only Love."

It's explained in the books I'm currently reading too. E=MC2, which we think we know, but we don't grok it. It's not real to us. The way the books explain it is that Love is the living substance of the body of God. Love in motion is Light, literally that which makes us alive, the energy that moves all things from the courses of the stars to ocean waves moving grains of sand on the beach to the motions of the electrons orbiting the nuclei of the atoms of everything.

Matter as we know it is Love that is "frozen" or moving so slowly it appears solid, like we know ice is frozen water that will flow again once heated enough.

Love in this world will flow again too, and the matter that is made of frozen Love will become malleable again once we LightWorkers create a strong enough flow, bathing the frozen Love with Love that is already in its molten state. It's a bit like running an ice cube tray under hot water to loosen the ice cubes. The ice cubes are still in the form of ice cubes, but suddenly they can move and are free of the tray that bound them because they have become coated with molten water and conscious that they are made of water.

So this morning while I was fixing my breakfast it finally dawned on me. If God is All That Is, and God is only Love, and all matter is frozen Love, then God is literally everything and anything on this physical plane of existence and all I can see everywhere I look is Love. I reached out my hand and touched my kitchen countertop. I felt the vibration and the Joy in it, felt it as a part of God's body, since God is All That Is. I put my hand on the kitchen doorframe. Another part of God's body. I felt the vibration and Joy and Love there too. Right then, everything became sacred.

Suddenly, I was walking through my house and realized I was literally walking through very organized and dense clouds of Love that are literally part of the body of God, and that I also am within that. I felt very loved and supported by and connected to everything. I realized that if there is this enormous abundance of Love literally right at my fingertips, then giving it away to everyone I meet, everyone and everything my vision falls upon, is extremely easy to do.

I told God this, and I felt an amused chuckle followed by, "Of course. How could it be otherwise?" which are the exact words Torlinque and I have said to each other as I've discovered new things at points on this journey. It made me chuckle too.

I went out on the front porch to put something in the recycle bin and said, "Good Morning!" to all of Nature. What came back felt like a cheer from a stadium full of people.

There is no more lack. There is no more separation. All that my vision falls upon is only Love, only God. God is All That Is and I am within Him/Her. There exists only this enormous abundance of Love that is God vibrating into various unlimited myriad shapes and colors we call our world/physical matter. It's like the moment in the Matrix when Neo saw that everything he beheld was made of code. Everything we experience as our world, as physical matter is vibrating Love, and the substance of God is Love.

I am not separate from God. God is right here. This keyboard is just another vibrational shape God's energy has frozen into. If I want to touch God, all I have to do is literally reach out my hand.

I am not separate from God. God is not somewhere "up there". God is right here, and always has been, even unto the very atoms of my body. I have never been alone. I have never been forsaken. Always, always have I been cared for, and every thing that has happened in all of my lives, down to every thought in my head, has been perfectly orchestrated.

All of that separation from Torlinque and from God, and all the fear, anger, loneliness, etc. that went with it, even the big one, the Lemurian fear, was illusion, a bad dream, a lie. All this time God has been gently shaking me awake. I don't know that I'm fully awake yet, probably not, but I'm much more awake this morning than I was last night when God and I were talking.